Well today was probably one of the crappiest days of my entire existence. Besides the day we broke up, naturally. I hope that day is crappy for you too.
I feel like my vocabulary should be more impressive than this, yet here we are, with "crappy" being my defining term for pretty much everything going on in my life at the moment.
Before I get into that though, your last letter left me in shock. Even when we're broken up and when I'm not technically replying to your letters, you still know me better than anyone else ever will. I was, in fact, a librarian for Halloween this year, mainly to stick with the book theme, since I love themes, and you know that. You know everything about me. I kinda forgot about that.
But since you know everything about me, I'm going to go straight into my terrible day. You know how much I hate when people put their own feelings before the feelings of other people. I think that you should think of others before you think of yourself, always and without question. Especially if those people are close to you and have been for a long time. You would definitely know that, since if I didn't feel that way, we would probably still be together.
Ouch. That probably hurt.
So today would be our two-year anniversary if we were still together. We could be together and celebrating and being goofballs like usual. But instead, I found out today that my two best friends started dating each other. On our two year anniversary.
This wouldn't be a big deal if we were still together. It would actually be kind of cute, to share an anniversary with my best friends. It wouldn't even be that big of a deal if it was just Lindsey going out and starting to date a random guy, or Jaime a random girl. The other person in that relationship wouldn't be the wiser to my personal misfortunes, and I couldn't expect Jaime or Lindsey to say no if someone asked them to be with them, simply to spare my feelings.
But it was both of them. They both knew! They both have been there for all the crying and screaming and anger and ice cream-filled nights. They were both there and they both know how much I still care about you and how much I miss you. Yet they decided, mutually, to start dating today, a day that they know is going to be sour for me. It just doesn't strike me as something good friends would do, you know?
But at the same time, I can't get mad! They're my best friends in the world and I want to be happy for them! I won't even be the lone third wheel in the group, because Leslie will be there too to keep me company, so I can't pull that reason to be salty. I just...I just don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to pull off being genuinely happy for them. I want to be happy for them so badly, but I just keep thinking about how they didn't even regard my feelings at all.
I guess I'm starting to sound a bit childish, so I'll chill out and end the letter on a happy note.
Happy would-be two-year anniversary, babe. I really wish we had lasted.
Love,
Aria
No comments:
Post a Comment