10/18/19

I thought this might be a good way to get my thoughts and feelings out in a way that isn't super weird or cliche, or anything like that. Hopefully no one will find this that would harshly judge me, but even if they do, at least I have a way to say what I want to.

The letters that will follow in my blog will be directed at Brenden, my ex-boyfriend. I'm not going to use code names or anything like that, so if you don't like that your name is on here, maybe you shouldn't be acting like an idiot in real life.

Here we go.

Dear Brenden,

I hope that your life is going well. Actually, scratch that, I don't. This upcoming Monday marks one month since you ruined everything and since I ended us, and therefore I really don't care what goes on in your life. I'll probably still like the occasional status or comment on a funny tweet you have, but purely to show that I'm the bigger person and that I can get through this. Not to say that I still want you.

Because if I'm going to be frank, which I almost always am...you suck. You freaking suck. Maybe in one of these entries I'll finally be able to write down exactly why you suck without bursting into tears. Because how in the world do you manage to forget about someone who made the past 22 months so special? Someone who was such a big part of you, who was such a big part of who you were and who you wanted to be?

You tore it all away, and you don't care. It's cool though. I haven't received an actual letter from you in a month, but it's cool. I haven't had a single day where I didn't cry in a month, but it's cool. I miss you like crazy, but it's cool. It's cool. I'm cool. I'm fine.

The thing is, I still love you. And that's what sucks the most.

Love,

Aria