10/23/19

Dear Brenden,

Today was my 17th birthday. All my friends make fun of me because they're all turning 18 within the next three months and I'm not gonna be an adult for another year. It's all good though, I've been dealing with their teasing for years now.

I remember my 16th birthday last year. You surprised me by flying out here for the week. I mean, my parents knew and everything and everyone was so excited for me. It was so cool to have you out here with me, I felt like it was a movie--my boyfriend of almost a year, flying out to see me for my birthday, missing a week of his senior year of high school to hang out with my family and be there for me. It was like a slice of heaven. I couldn't believe you cared about me that much.

Look at that, now I'm crying.

Gosh it's hard to miss someone this much. Why does it hurt like this? It's been over a month. You still try to contact me. Your letters make me cry because I want to reply but I know I can't. I have to stay away, which is why this blog is such a good thing for me. I can reply to your letters, but they'll just never reach you. I wonder if you'll keep writing to me, despite me not answering. I'm sorry if I offended you, and I'm sorry if this is an awful thing to do...but then again, you deserve it. You ruined me and you ruined any chance we had of regaining anything. 

I need you to understand that I still love you, and maybe I always will. But I need you to also understand that I can't come back. I have to stay away.

But I won't be forgetting anything. Or forgiving anything, for that matter.

Love,

Aria